When Food Becomes a Feeling: Understanding Emotional Eating
- Yvette E. McDonald, LCSW-QS, CMNCS
- Jul 31
- 4 min read
Updated: Oct 22
And why it’s not about willpower
My Story: The Fast That Opened My Eyes
I never saw myself as an emotional eater. I didn’t graze all day or sneak food in the middle of the night. I thought emotional eating looked a certain way and I didn’t fit the picture.
Then, during a church-wide fast where we were asked to give up something meaningful for a week, I chose sweets. It seemed like a simple enough sacrifice. I wasn’t addicted to sugar, right?
Wrong.
What started as a spiritual exercise quickly turned into an emotional rollercoaster. I found myself irritable, restless, and mentally preoccupied not just with sweets, but with everything they had been masking. Without even realizing it, I had been using sugar to soften stress, reward myself, and self-soothe at the end of a long day.
That week shook me. And while it opened my eyes, it didn’t magically solve the struggle. I still felt powerless around food. It would be over a decade before I truly started to understand what was going on beneath the surface.
That next chapter began when I hit a wall physically and emotionally. I was exhausted, depleted, and sick of feeling like a stranger in my own body. It took a pivotal moment on a mountaintop (a story for another time) for me to finally get serious about healing.
From there, I started rebuilding—my health, my energy, my relationship with food. I learned how much of my eating had nothing to do with hunger… and everything to do with regulation. I began to untangle the emotional knots I’d carried for years. And I discovered that true nourishment includes how we eat, not just what we eat.
What Is Emotional Eating?
Emotional eating is often framed as a lack of discipline or willpower. But it’s not. It’s a deeply human response to discomfort, especially when our emotional needs have been unmet, invalidated, or misunderstood.
It can look like:
Reaching for sugar when you’re overwhelmed
Eating to soothe sadness, loneliness, or anxiety
Rewarding yourself with food after a stressful day
Feeling “possessed” by cravings that aren’t tied to physical hunger
Emotional eating is not about weakness. It’s about coping and for many people, it has been the most accessible way to self-soothe.
Why Emotional Eating Makes Sense
From infancy, food is linked to comfort, safety, and connection. For those who didn’t learn how to regulate emotions in a healthy way or who experienced trauma, sensory overload, or chronic stress, food can become the quickest way to feel better.
But while it works temporarily, it often leaves behind guilt, shame, and confusion.
When we understand emotional eating as a signal, not a failure, everything changes. It’s your body saying:
“I’m overwhelmed. I need help. I’m trying to feel better the only way I know how.”
The Neurodivergent Layer
If you’re neurodivergent—autistic, ADHD, sensory sensitive, or otherwise wired differently, emotional eating may be even more complex.
Here’s how it often shows up:
Sensory overload → food as grounding: Crunchy, salty, or carby foods can help calm the nervous system.
Executive dysfunction → skipped meals → crashes → emotional spirals.
Rejection sensitivity or emotional intensity → eating to soften the edge.
Hyperfocus or overstimulation → using food to regulate and return to center.
Chewing, crunching, and snacking as a form of stimming or sensory input.
Many of my neurodivergent clients (and myself included) don’t even recognize that their eating habits are emotional. They just know that certain foods help them feel right. But without awareness, these patterns can keep them stuck in cycles of depletion, shame, and physical distress.
The goal isn’t to “fix” these patterns. The goal is to understand them and build new strategies that honor your nervous system and support true regulation.
Healing Begins With Awareness
You don’t have to shame yourself out of emotional eating. You can curiously observe your patterns, meet yourself with compassion, and begin to explore what your body is truly asking for.
What Helps:
Track gently. Keep a log of when you eat and how you feel—emotionally and physically. No judgment, just data.
Anchor your body. Try stretching, stepping outside, or using a “regulation snack” with protein and fat to stabilize your blood sugar.
Build your emotional vocabulary. Sometimes we eat because we don’t have the words for what we feel. Learning to name emotions gives you new choices.
Create rhythm. Consistent, blood-sugar–balancing meals reduce the physical triggers that drive emotional eating.
Don’t go it alone. Healing food struggles is rarely just about food. It’s about your story, your nervous system, and your unmet needs.
Reflection Questions
What do I most often feel before I emotionally eat?
What need might I be trying to meet?
Are there times when emotional eating feels more intense (e.g., during certain parts of my cycle, day, or week)?
What would it look like to support myself rather than shame myself?
Recommended Resources
Book: Women, Food, and God by Geneen Roth
Book: The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
Podcast: Maintenance Phase – Episode on emotional eating myths
Tool: Try a to help you identify patterns and practice gentle nutrition.
You’re Not Alone
Emotional eating isn’t failure—it’s feedback. And with the right tools, support, and self-awareness, it can become the doorway to healing, rather than a cycle of shame.
Yvette is a psychotherapist, Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), and Certified Mental Health and Nutrition Clinical Specialist (CMNCS) who takes a holistic, neuroscience-based approach to mental health. She believes in empowering individuals to understand their emotions, behaviors, and well-being through a combination of psychology, nutrition, and sustainable health habits. Through her wellness practice, Nourivida Wellness, she provides concierge mental health and integrative services, for neurodiverse individuals, couples, and those seeking emotional growth.
Looking for more support? Learn more at Nourivida Wellness.
